Doodling Little Moments

Doodling little characters to express.
Her soft hands drawing lines fixing to dots.
Sitting under the old ceder tree alone to musings,
She draws a plump woman in a polka dot dress.

Soft, sweet rose petal cheeks blush
As the character flashes a cute little smile.
Lush elegant hair flows down to shapely hips.
Resembling the creators own natural plush.

Wind blowing the ceder leaves east.
Soft unwavering hands drawing lines to dots.
Creating our plump polka dotted hero friend's
Surrounding her in a joyous feast.

Pen lines darken among the new creations.
Hands pointing, voices laughing in sheer taunts.
Droplets of rain fall upon the polka dotted girl.
Tears fall as they continue their allegations.

Calling her a waste of life, a fat ugly slut.
Such words paint onto the paper,
Furiously being written as the rain pours.
Pen point digs hard  leaving a cut.

The artist herself silently begins to weep.
Recalling that dreadful day with hate.
Examining her right wrist of shame.
Under the ceder tree she wishes to sleep.

Never to wake up until she's thin.
Never to wake up until she's like everyone.
Never to wake up until she's beautiful.
And now she'll begin to hate herself from within.



This is what we need to avoid. There are so many women, young girls who are big, intelligent, and talented. Yet, some people will ridicule them until they are broken inside and out. Some of these wonderful women, young girls will cause harm upon their body to try to take away their emotional pain through psychical. Others will hate themselves and hurt their bodies through false weight-loss drugs, expensive surgeries that may cause prolong health problems. Yet, it is those very same people who say these harmful words who do not care. Some even feel that you have to give overweight people negative feedback for them to lose weight. That isn't correct thinking, thats weightism. I believe all women are beautiful no matter what size they are, I believe that you should feel good about your body and if you want to lose some weight you have to think from a positive mindset and not one of negativity. Instead of worrying about weight, just go out and have fun and be happy. Happiness is one of the major keys to a better life.  At the core of it you have to be strong but never forget if there is a few people who may say harmful degrading words to you, always remember that there is a thousand and more who will love, support, and give you the encouragement of being yourself no matter what size you are. And coming from a male perspective I adore the larger frame on women. So be proud of your body and remember stay positive!

No Disaster Will Halt Love

Charged ions burst through my nerves.

Intense electrical waves beg me to gasp.

Breathing cold air back into my lungs

Screaming till this voice is nearly rasp.

Adrenaline accelerates it's pulse.
Medical men plead for me to stay calm.
Injecting sedatives to stop the momentum,
Desperately trying to diffuse this bomb.

Knuckles white, bursting from this metal cage.
Police, medics rushing to control my will.
Staggering to the river bed I dive in.
Late autumn water proclaims it's icy chill.

In dark depths I struggle to pry open
Metal doors that lock away everything I hold dear.
Frantically punching at the glass till it shatters.
Pulling towards the surface my heart begins to fear.

Police, medics watch in angst to whats before them.
Staring hopelessly as a father cries.
A final attempt to save her I take one last breath.
Her young heart beats once more while another dies.

Send Me a Note

Slowly weeping before ma aching heart.
Listening over the words of suffering.
Asking for a lie to ease the sudden depart.
Can't ye see the painful display?

Send me a note of hou ye feel aloyn.
Give me something to start the buffering
Of ma heart before you start to stone.
What we hae does it no longer sing?

It's a sair fecht to keep going.
Your words crisscross upon my auld soul.
Burning deep with luve foregoing.
Hanging ma head to await departure.

I leave in the distance of the unknown.
Hopefully one day this void, this hole,
Could be filled with luves sown.
Until then I weep before ma aching heart.




If you haven't noticed I wrote this poem with some of the Scot's Language. (Or called Low-land Scots) I am proud of my ScotIrish decent but more so of my Scottish heritage. I'm huge fan of Robert Burns Scotland's National Poet! I also enjoy the works of John Buchan, Raymond Vettese and so on. I figured I'd go to create a bit of a Scot's piece. I don't know why I decided to write a love lost poem but if you're feeling the painful lost of heartbreak then my friend read and wallow. Just remember someone is waiting for you to sweep them off their feet or yours!

Softness of Which is Beauty

Society admires beauty of the lean.
It demands that I too share it's thoughts.
I cannot for I love the beauty of abundance.
Rail thin women are just not my scene.

Curvaceous bodies is what I desire.
My taste for women whose hips flare,
And tightly hug jeans and fill out dresses.
They are what sets my avidity on fire.

Beauty isn't defined by any number or size.
Women deserve happiness and confidence.
Yet, society proclaims these women undesirable.
All I hear are the emotional pained cries.

Here I stand outreaching my hand.
It's alright to be a thick lush woman.
It's okay to be a size twenty-four and smile.
Beauty of the voluptuous figure is grand.



I love the bodies of thick, full-figured women. For me, that is womanly beauty at its finest. We see images of women who are deathly thin, or so thin that they have to use technologies to make them fuller. It also applies to thick women and they touch them up making them smaller. Beauty isn't some number or a size. My fiancee is a proud size 22 and I love her body as is. I am a BBW lover and I support size acceptance. To further add, If you're a size smaller and consider lean I'll still love you for accepting all shapes and sizes! Because this world needs to love another and not shame or belittle others.

My Dear I had a Good Idea. Lets Lay These Bones to Rest.

Exasperating groans fill my ears. 

Stinging glares from jaded eyes.

Voices rise such as the ocean tide.

Your cheeks stain from constant tears.

Minutes pass yet, the door slamming still rings.

Laying here with complicated thoughts.

Waiting until the earth begins to part. 

Another soul to pluck the violin strings. 

Grasping the air in clutch fists. 

Screaming till my lungs burst.

Collapsing on weak knees I grow silent.

My heart beating urging to persists. 

Standing, hearing the trumpets bellow.

I rush to find the one I hold so dear.

Madden by trepidation of never kissing her once more.

In adversity i'll pluck the strings of a cello.

Sitting alone on one of the park benches.

Weeping herself away in agony.

Quietly I sit, only to whisper forgiveness and love. 

Sitting together her hand clenches.

Together lets lay these bones to rest.

Nearly home we stop to hold each other.

Her soft lips whisper 'I love you'.

Pulling her closer to listen to my chest. 

A heart that never gave up or quit,

Kept on beating your name.

My blood flows of your essence.

Together our love will always emit.

Say Hello to the Angels

Dancing in a world that never stops.

Expressions of every emotion twinkle

As brightly as the starlit sky above.

Standing here I am but a small crinkle

Within the infinite galactic cosmos.

My heart beating, pumping full of love

Throughout my body as I kiss your lips.

Just two little specks of dust,

Living and breathing on a small little pebble.

As our lips touch igniting a wildfire gust

Throughout celestial realm of the unknown.

Dancing like crazed freedom rebels

In jubilation of a won revolution.

Standing here, we say hello the angels.

Witnessing the dramatic effect of evolution

That love creates when two souls collide.

Hearing the infinite galactic cosmos screaming in glee

As we collapse on the bed side by side.

 

  

Authors notes:  This is just a catchy fun filled love story about well two people who love each other and fulfilling the Universes wishes to spread love and realize that no matter how small we are, we have the biggest hearts that can be seen by all the angels. It is also provides you with a acidic trip, something like the Beatles yellow submarine. So go on and Say Hello to the Angels. - Jess 

 

The Feast

Midnight chimes over the darken city.
Pubs filled with drunkards ring out
In hollowed streets of the sick and gritty.
No one hears the sudden cries.

All alone at the witching hour.
Darken streets with hidden eyes.
Watching, lurking in the darkness of power.
Shadows move with every step you take.

Vile creatures stalking their prey.
Off in the distance witches screech.
Heart pounding fast as you run away.
Fear reeks in the air with razor teeth.

Nightmares chasing, breathing down your spine.
Evil abominations gripping you tightly.
Blood glistens off in a straight line.
Your soul being eaten alive.

Onlookers within the darken city
See but a young woman in distress.
Rushing to her aid with worry and pity,
She smiles as she looks upon the feast.

Listen Butterfly

What if we were born at different times?
You're seventy-five and I nine.
Would I bring cookies to the old folks home?
Would we dare cross an improper line?

Little explosions of love set off
Deep within your heart.
Two old souls finally meeting once more.
How cruel could fate be to give us this start?

Today in this era we were born.
You're twenty-three and I twenty-two.
Would I bring cookies to your work?
Would we dare be those lucky few?

Little explosions of love set off
Deep within our hearts.
Two old souls staring at each other once more.
How wonderful is fate to give us this start.

Frail

Frail as the snowflake
That trembles down the wind.
I stand vigilant as the old oaks before me.
Tomorrow I shall awake.

Sun light erodes leaving the grey
Of the snow tipped wind.
Once more into the struggle.
Once more into the fray.

Battle of life and death
Is a war one has no victor.
Only to live and die this day.
To take our first and last breath.

Frail as the snowflake
That trembles down the wind.
I stand vigilant as the old oaks before me.
Tomorrow I shall awake.

Crimson Red

Awaken by cylinder beams of light.

Questioning the moments of yesterday.

Broken down with justifiable contrite.

Tears upon hands will never wash the red display  

That played God with crude metal toys.

Blood stains these clothes as I look into eyes

Filled with terror but the background noise

Drills hard in my soul but I clinch away my cries,
Of what moral humanity I once possessed

Now burns straight through the skull,

Watching in utter tormented anguish as I molest 

It; leaving only a empty, lonely, sad hull.

Tomorrow I will visit the graves of the dead.

Tomorrow my tears will shed a crimson red.

   

Sleepless

In dark hours of sleepless nights

I listen to the sounds of your breath.

Lying motionless like the dance of death;

Silently inhaling and exhaling little excites.

Watching you dream of places

Which we hold dear in our hearts.

Wordlessly I hope I'm in parts,

Even in the smallest of spaces.

Without warning I kiss your lips
That taste of a sweet rose red wine.
Your still face smiles as I feels your hips
Grind and your legs tangle like a vine.

Devilish thoughts and inner lust.
Your bright blue eyes caught me.
A leaf trapped in a strong gust.
I can't help but become your detainee.

In the dark hours of sleepless nights
We listen to the sound of our heart beats.
Reaching into peaks beyond any heights
As the sun hits the morning streets.




This is a poem I've been working on for few days now. I might edit it some more later on, but I figured I'd post it so you, my faithful readers can help me out and give me some well needed feedback! As you can tell it is a bit mature, if you haven't guessed what I'm talking about it. Lol anyway enjoy!

Private Sanctuary's

Private sanctuary's we keep

Are exposed to all seeing eyes.

Facebook, twitter, and blogs drill deep

Into our very own lives.

Corporations selling us like cattle

To Government, to other businessmen.

In technological cages we are their chattel.

Social networks abused by evil men

Whom seek to control our actions, our thoughts!

Sadly we become their products, their robots. 

As radio brought human unity so does internet. 

We seek the fellowship of human kindness.

For in every heart that beats is a silhouette 

Of honest good people, nonetheless

Greed poisons these very same hearts.

Once good men now view us as sheep.

Employers creep into the most private parts

Of your life as you put your children to sleep

Not knowing if you will have your job or not.

These are not humans but machines who forgot!

Forgot the simple joys of compassion,

The acts of love for one another!

They no longer have the passion

To think, to feel only to smother 

And sell us to economic markets worldwide.

Governments craft laws such as SOPA,

CISPA to control us and expecting us to abide.  

While we take our few remaining scrapes and gnaw

Into the bone marrow of lost humanity!

No longer, no longer should we abide to such insanity!

Empty Jean Pockets

Reaching in jean pockets

Feeling the soft denim of lint.

A twinge of fear swells like dockets

Piling up forcing you to circumvent. 

Staring at trees with contempt.

Money doesn't grow on trees

But there is no harm to attempt. 

Despite wit my fears cannot ease.

Silently my thoughts turn suicidal. 

Watching moths fly away from leather.

The growing senselessness of being idle 

Finally hits me like winters weather.

What is left is a man in need of pay,

Yet, I am left to suffer as a stray. 

Dimly Lit Room

Dimly lit room she cries softly.
Running cool water on her wrist.
Watching blood and water mix.
Pain consuming her like a fist
Choking her of any thoughts.

Brightly lit room she cries loudly.
Other girls surround her and taunt.
Lesbo, whore, slut, and calling her cunt.
They laugh, and point and flaunt
The fact that she isn't straight.

In her bathroom she sobs.
Why am I different she pleads
To God as she cuts deeper.
Sharp metal gleams as she bleeds
All over the floor feeling alone.

Dimly lit room, her parents cry.
Their little girl lying there dead.
Another young teen lost as we
Watch the news of widespread
Lives that are taken by being different.


Bullying isn't a laughing matter. I know it seems fun at first but you are hurting someone and that hurt stays with them for the rest of their life if they don't cut it short because of the words, the physical  pain you might have inflicted. If you see it happen to someone even if you don't know them do not hesitate! Go and stop it, because in doing so you might be saving a life. There is enough hate, enough violence in this world and we can't afford to lose the bright minds of tomorrow. We can not lose sight that we all different but are equal.

Bluffs End

There are moments that are never enough.

They seem to last in abundance of joys.

Playing in the water under the old rocky bluff.

Screaming, laughing as it is with us young boys.

Our imaginations we tend to hold now flee.

The rocks from the bluff crumple down.

A howl echoes in our ears like banshees

Screaming, only to see blood flow around.

Electric

Electronic vibrations pulsate
Every nerve fiber under skin.
Tickling you with sensations
That creates your head to spin.

Shock waves of electricity
Burn through your skull.
You scream and the rave
Simply becomes a blinding null.

Electrification of impulsion
Ripples down your heart.
A cold fire is set loose.
While the doctor looks at the flip chart.

Little Child Who Was But Never

Little child who was but never.
Pray that you hear my remorse.
These eyes gaze up towards clouds.
Everyday I wake to endeavor
The anguish of our course.
Though my son, my daughter,
You shall be in our souls forever.
Our love was the true source
Of our decision for you, for us.
Little child who was but never.
I dream of rising as a vital force.
Respectful, charming, and brave.
Sweet, caring, and romantic.
To grow and do whatever
Your soul wanted to take course.
In truth this was to never
Happen in all my remorse.
Pray that you understand one day.
With all of our love we couldn't keep you,
Little child who was but never.

Ode on a Wall

A wall filled with holes.
Little circles dotting a white sea.
What are these holes that dot
Around these empty white walls?

Surprisingly from a piece of metal.
A flat circle head of varying sizes.
A round slender body that
Slightly ends with a sharp point.

As I take up my hammer.
I strike hard on the circle head.
Penetrating another hole in this vast sea.
Adding another frame to these walls.

Strike after strike
I reach below me
Another nail
To hammer away.
Strike after strike.

Filling these empty walls
With pictures of color.
 Another dot in this vast sea

Vivid Episodes

Vivid episodes of life.
Listening to the wind speak.
Hearing time play with its knife.
Grieving, pleading to carry on.
Sorrowful eyes remain bleak.
As time shrouds itself as death.

Vivid episodes of life,
Sorrowful eyes remain bleak.
Listening to tidings of strife.
Cries are heard of joy.
Outside children dance and squeak.
As time is death, it is also life.

My Conscience

A many time have I felt the stigma of  being the non-believer of Christianity. That I don't fear God's inferno rage of brim stone and lakes of fire. That I promote the ideas of viewing other religions on par with Christianity. Well, it is true, I don't fear God, I don't believe it, God, does not have any wrath towards any creation in this grand universe. From the oldest religions, Hinduism, Buddhism, to the more newly religions of Judaic times. ( Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.)  All is equal in my eyes because I see the good in each religion. Seeing the good in religions makes one open his or hers third eye, in my opinion. To open your third eye is finally understanding life, bringing one closer to enlightenment. I believe in reason, I believe in science, and I believe all can exist with religion. I state this because we may know our origins and the creation of Earth, but we don't understand yet, or even comprehend why there is a Universe, or parallel universes. How certain planets are placed in the right spots between stars. Evolution we know exists but we don't understand why it happens. Sometimes we can't even comprehend why some people have genetics code to withstand the most deadly viruses. Our technological progression may never understand that knowledge, but deep down in the depths of our minds we know. We know that there is spiritual world that all our ancestors, and recently deceased love ones exist. That the great prophets and saviors reside with a mighty, benevolent being that our mortal eyes would burst from this beings light, this mighty and grand being of love.  


 "However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act upon them?" - Buddha 


Buddha was a man as he claims, just a man who had finally awaken from a dream. He didn't care who you were, he only cared if you followed the Eightford path. Which is, 


1. Right View- A way of life always involve more than beliefs, but it can never bypass them completely. Life needs a blueprint, some map the mind can trust if we are to direct our energies purposively.   


2. Right Intent- Focus on our actions, do what is good  than be distracted by what is wrong. 


3. Right Speech- Become aware of our speech and become aware of who you are. Speak nothing but the truth. 


4. Right Conduct- Do not kill, do not steal, do not lie and do not be unchaste. (Last one meaning for those unmarried or monks, this means continence. For married it means restraint in proportion to one's interest.), and do not drink intoxicants. 


5. Right Livelihood- Live in life's mean, do not be hindered with occupations that limit spiritual progression. 


6. Right Effort- " He robbed me, he beat me, he abused me'- in the minds of those who think like this, hatred will never cease." - Buddha. Learn to forget troubles, pave the way for compassion and patience.


7. Right Mindfulness- " All we are is the result of what we have thought." - Buddha. To have good, peaceful thoughts we create the person we are. 


8. Right Concentration- The way towards enlightenment. 


This is older than Moses ten commandants, but no place is this any different. We must live in this life with compassion, with patience, and with love. It is hard to love those who do wrong but we are are forgiving even when forgiveness is harder to accept, but we unleash a weight that was crushing out hearts. Jesus Christ is perfect example of how to love when love is hard to give. Jesus is not considered to be the messiah to the Jews because he did not have the traits of a leader, or a warrior, instead Jesus displayed love, and prayed for those who did not understand. He spoke of love for enemies, spoke of love for the poor, and blessed those who seemed were scum, but in his eyes they were redeemable. It saddens me when those of Christian faith condemn those who practice other faiths, who believe in nothing, has Jesus not explain in his words of truth to you? 
In Luke Jesus says, "Stop Judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, you will be forgiven. If you give, you will receive. Your gift in return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving-large or small-it will be used to measure what is given back to you."  


I know I am not a perfect person, I know I am a sinner, but I do not judge those who do not need to be judged. If two men love each other then as Jesus says love them for who they are, they I love them for who they are. If someone who hates me because I dress a certain way, I should not feel anger towards or hatred but instead I pray for them and love them regardless. Will I hug them no, but do they deserve the same hatred as they have given to me? No. Now there are some people in this world that will commit hate that no human should ever commit. It is hard to forgive as I've said, but in time things will get better. We just have to keep faith in hearts because some people may taunt you, others will call you a non-believer, others may ban you, but keep strong with love, with compassion, and never forget there is a God who loves you, and everyone as equals. 


"True religion is not a narrow dogma. It is not external observance. It is faith in God and living in the presence of God. It means faith in a future, in truth and Ahimsa. Religion is a matter of the heart. No physical inconvenience can warrant abandonment of one's own religion." - Gandhi , a believer of Hinduism, a leader of liberation through peaceful ways.

To answer a question I'm sure many of you have been wondering, "Is he a Christian, Buddhist, a Hindu, or what?"  I am nothing, but everything. I believe in the light, the truth, the mind and heart. I believe what is right for humankind, I believe through the powers of love. I am talking about the good of religions, the truth that words hold. The chaos, the murders, the jihads, and the hatred we see are those who twist the words of purity of good men and women. They are confused, and I pray for them. I honestly do, I pray that will find truth in love even when they kill those we love. When God looks upon their souls, they will cry of heartache they have caused to this grand and old being of knowledge, love, and truth. 


I have only explored the tip of my spiritual iceberg to you. I know many will not agree with this but I understand and I do not condemn you, I do not wish any ill will because I do not believe I should. God gave us free will for us to follow our own path. That is why this Universe is beautiful because we are are given such gifts of love, compassion, patience, and the ability to try and understand our fellow human being. 

Tenuous

Tenuous clogged emotions surface.
Memories of what I've thought died
Long ago in ragged red leaves.
Pity I just can't brush them aside.

Arctic Seasickness

On crescent ships lost
In suffering arctic waters.
Tossing and turning in exhaust.
Losing myself in frigid cold.

My stomachs churning,
Besought of hyperthermia or
Just the seasickness that's burning.
Ice flourishes like tree mold.

Somber silence I weep
For warmth of a cozy bed
And the love that's asleep
Waiting, waiting to burn away the cold.

Anguish of a Dying Celtic

Detached existence of anguish

That harbors fathomless in my chest. 

Friends, I pray could hear the howling

That emits from a heart of repressed.

I write ye words of black

For none can imagine this lost.

English spreads without mothachadh!

Emotionless it kills without exhaust. 

A language struggling to subsist.

When its words are spoken

All are still as the elderly sing

With a Gaelic storm that's unbroken!

In the depths of my very essence

I feel it grasp my heart.

The blood of a Celtic armann.

Gaelic, true words of a peoples art.

Long time folks. I apologize for not posting any poems lately. Times have been rough, confusing, and filled with endless joy. I'm beginning to learn Scottish Gaelic because when I walk my true love down to the alter I don't want use the English words, but the Gaelic words of my Ancestors. Its sad to know that both Gaelic's (Scottish, and Irish) are dying. If I can learn all I can I'm going to teach it to my children. It's beautiful language.  So HAPPY NEW YEAR and I hope you a drank ye fill and celebrated like a true Celt! I know I did!